We shall obscure our prefabricated reality and ascend to the grand marble halls of food critics come and gone....
Consider, if you will, Gumbo's-a quietly anomalous and entirely unnoticeable facet of Claremont laissez-faire. There are two reasons why Gumbo's is a virtually inconsequential hangnail on Claremont's invisible hand. First, it's actually in Upland. Second, it's located in a corner of a visually sedating structure called College Business Park. Before last Monday, neither of us had ever noticed this innocuous, acrophobic quasi-industrial complex, much less any of the sustenance-offering enterprises it gave roof to.
We would describe Gumbo's most succinctly as a cog. But a Cajun cog, at that. In fact, a very sobering Cajun cog. Just outside the shock zone of Claremont's pungent economic blitzkrieg.
But let's not rush into any hasty descriptions-let's talk about kumquats. Actually we don't have much to say about them. This makes them very much like lambskin prophylactics. If you know anything about either, or any arbitrary combination of the two, please let us know.
While you're at it, why don't you tell us what goes into gumbo, too. We ate some, and we're not all that convinced of its composition. Perhaps we should have ordered one of the ten-gallon special take- out drums. We tried jambalaya too, which turned out to be what we would have expected to find in a box of Gumbo's powdered five- minute-gumbo mix.
Gumbo's is basically a restaurant appended to a gas station, only Cajun, and without the gas pumps. But, to their credit, they do have attractively disheveled menus, a plastic-bead adorned Mardi-Gras wall, and complimentary Monday Night Football simulcast on an extravagant 13 inch television.
Take it from us, nothing beats witnessing two tons of armored testosterone-soaked flesh colliding every 45 seconds while sucking back an anonymous brew of meaty samples from Cajun Bob's Wild Kingdom. And they have Snapple, to boot.
Make no mistake, it's cheap. This is Claremont dining at its best, especially when you remember you're in Upland. Besides, what kind of food would you expect from a mere cog? At least it's not built inside a boat. Perhaps they'd rather attract customers with plastic beads than repel them with mortally terrifying architecture. And yet you persist with your drivel of post-contemporary primitivism.
Gumbo's is located at 1164 Monte Vista Ave., Quasi-Industrial Unit #10, in Upland. You can call ahead for free delivery, but only if you also live at 1164 Monte Vista Ave. In Upland.