"My mother sent me some fig newtons for Halloween. What'd you get?"
But long before that, we went to Sorrento's for some vegetarian pizza stuffed with so many warm fuzzies. We've had them before, so those warm fuzzies dwelling within were no fluke.
Sorrento's specializes in that underrepresented fusion of Italian and Persian cuisine. Perhaps you'd call it Mediterranean. Anyway, they've got tasty fresh pizza in addition to those other, more exotic items -- you know, the ones that competent food critics would feel obligated to sample.
Free, then, from any such obligation, we glibly ordered the least adventurous item on the menu, sipped from our complimentary ice waters, and were treated to a less-than pyrotechnic display of our fledgling pizza crust flung gracelessly above the chef's head, to boot. And we thought the Singing Chef at Domenico's was cool.
In addition to these lovely and irresistible menu items and corresponding feats of culinary knack, Sorrento's also sports tantilizing displays of ficticious desserts below all of their glass tabletops. They look great but they're not for sale, much like inorganic mushroom fertilizers.
Speaking of shoe treads, we were afforded another beautiful image, this time of the sidewalk confronting us at eye level while we sat in our quasi-subterranean (perhaps you'd call them meta-terranean) seats. We simultaneously confronted it right back at ground level while we waited for our pizza to attain complete self-actualization. (Yes, we are anthropomorphizing a vegetarian pizza....)
After several weeks of Little Pizza Place, Domino's and Round Table pizza, the fresh, zesty taste of Sorrento's offering was as refreshing as the light scent of melba-munching monkeys from across a valley of all-natural prophylactic farms.
The atmosphere is fairly atrium-like, with a giant brass ivy-wrapped cage surrounding the center tables which reminded us eerily of a revamped-for-the-gerontocracy Scorpions video. In fact, this observation immediately warranted the spontaneuos presentation of the Second Annual Glam Metal Nude Skydiving Award.
As you recall, we bestowed this dubious distinction last year upon Sari Market, still one of our favorite restaurants to date. Congratulations, Sorrento's, you're in exclusive company -- one of the truly elite.
Of course, if you do not immediately distribute the ten and five- thousands requisite flyers declaring to all who dine in the greater Claremont area your momentous victory over all the other glam- metal touting, nude-skydiving competition sponsoring restaurant candidates in the aforementioned area (except, of course, for Sari Market, since they got it last year), this ephemeral honor will be vengefully and unrevocably revoked.
And to all of those who read past that last paragraph without serious literary stumblebumblery, we reward you now by concluding this article.
Sorrento's is located across the street from Harvey Mudd College, at the intersection of Claremont Blvd. and Foothill Blvd., in the College Center, where no college students seem to go. Their address is 665-B E. Foothill and their phone number is 621-2999. Scary Boat Place.